Saturday, March 10, 2007

This is the real Saturday Post.

Yeah, I feel guilty about a bummerof a post that was supposed to be Fridays but turned into wailing and gnashing of teeth.

So I'll tell you a story. Sadly, this story is also true and gets related to every new secretary at work.

The complex I work in has a number of buildings that are all attached to each other... the buildings are also old and mice and snakes and bugs get in sometimes. The breezeway that leads to the building housing the cafeteria had a smoking section outside the double doors.

So, Tammy & I were heading down to get lunch one day, and she spots a blue-tailed little lizard in the hallway. It must have run in when a smoker opened the door, and now it can't find its way out.

Tammy is saddened - she loves animals - but not so sad she cares to touch it. "It's going to starve and die in here!"

Me? Not much phases ME. I shrug and bend down with a small piece of paper, figuring I'll catch it my hands or on the paper and drop it outside. Simple, right?

"What are you guys doing?" Melanie, another executive secretary is walking towards us, accompanied by my boss.
"She's catching a lizard to put it back outside!" Tammy exclaims.

And at that moment.... I learned that 'leapin' lizards' is NOT just a phrase. That lizard jumped into the sleeve of my Tahari suit and RAN UP MY ARM. I have a lizard somewhere on my bra, I think.... no its up to my shoulder... Oh shit. THERE'S A LIZARD IN MY SUIT.

Did this escape anyone's notice? I should be so lucky.
"Holy shit!" sez Melanie. "Did that thing..."
"Yep." says my boss, "Right up her arm."
"oh GROSS!" squeals Tammy.

With all the dignity that someone who has a reptile in her suit can muster, I excuse myself and step outside. And of course, Sam is out there smoking.
"Hi!" I say brightly, as I step onto the grass and start vigourously shaking my arm. "Howya doing??"

Eventually the lizard falls back out of my sleeve onto the grass and runs away. Sam stares.
"Did..." he says hesitantly. "Did... did you just shake a LIZARD out of your sleeve?"
"Yup! See ya later!"

Try living that one down. I will not be remembered for my professional demeanor or my capable skills. Oh no, I will forever be known as the chick with the lizard in her suit.

39 comments:

That Chick Over There said...

I could hear this story a million times and every single time it makes me laugh.

velocibadgergirl said...

What That Chick said. I tell this story to my friends, I love it so much!

Catwoman said...

So a lizard came out of your suit, I mean is this really gossip?

Uhm, yeah, actually it is!

I think that's the funniest thing I've heard! But something that could totally happen to me.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Now that is funny!

Anonymous said...

generic viagra online buy viagra beijing - cheap viagra online pharmacy prescription

Anonymous said...

buy soma order soma online ga - soma 350 mg

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma drug anxiety - soma generic muscle relaxer

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma cost walmart - online coupons for soma

Anonymous said...

order soma soma san diego concert schedule - buy soma puzzle

Anonymous said...

cheap soma online soma pills abuse - soma muscle relaxer and alcohol

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg tramadol 50 mg how many - tramadol 50 mg during pregnancy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol for dogs maximum dose - ultram 50 mg oral tablet

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis 5 mg daily - buy generic cialis usa

Anonymous said...

can you really buy xanax online 2mg xanax to get high - xanax 2mg pfizer

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg kaps ratiopharm - buy tramadol online for dogs

Anonymous said...

xanax online where to buy xanax online forum - xanax pills side effects

Anonymous said...

alprazolam online how long xanax drug screen - xanax vs valium

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with mastercard buy tramadol 50mg - lowest dosage tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol online for cheap - legal purchase tramadol online

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis online for cheap - best pharmacy price cialis

Anonymous said...

buy xanax no prescription buy xanax online with mastercard - xanax 3 mg pills

Anonymous said...

xanax online generic xanax to buy - cheap xanax online no rx

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax and alcohol overdose - lorazepam or xanax for anxiety

Anonymous said...

order cialis cialis online usa pharmacy - cialis max dosage

Anonymous said...

xanax online cheap xanax canada - xanax orange pill g3720

Anonymous said...

xanax online remeron xanax drug interactions - xanax drug interactions caffeine

Anonymous said...

cialis online order generic cialis us - buy cialis online from us

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online no prescription cialis online rx - cialis daily

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin overdose signs - many milligrams klonopin overdose

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol generic name tramadol hydrochloride - tramadol 100mg

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#62431 tramadol hcl nih - buy tramadol online usa cheap

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#91646 tramadol zolpidem interaction - tramadol hydrochloride capsules 100 mg

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#30694 what are tramadol 50mg tablets - normal dosage tramadol humans

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg for headaches - clorhidrato de tramadol 100mg

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin ocd - effects of klonopin and alcohol

Anonymous said...

klonopin clonazepam teva vs. qualitest klonopin - 4mg klonopin high

Anonymous said...

generic carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol generic soma - carisoprodol bluelight

Anonymous said...

ooo! [url=http://www.adderall4sale.net/]buy cheap adderall [/url] order adderall - adderall price http://www.adderall4sale.net/ [url=http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/]homework solution [/url] make homework - need homework help http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/ [url=http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/] Make Homework [/url] summer homework - do my homework http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/ [url=http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/]order soma online [/url] cheap soma - soma online no prescription http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/

Anonymous said...

Blogger: There's a Penguin on the Telly - Post a Comment [url=http://www.acompliadietpillonsale.net/] Cheap Acomplia [/url] rimonabant online - Order Acomplia - acomplia 20mg [url=http://www.buyingprovigilcheap.net/]provigil price [/url] provigil online - buy provigil - buy provigil online - http://www.buyingprovigilcheap.net/ [url=http://www.buyingprovigilcheap.net/]buy modafinil [/url] buy provigil online no prescription - buy modafinil online - provigil no prescription - http://www.buyingprovigilcheap.net/ [url=http://www.cymbaltarxbuyonline.net/] Generic For Cymbalta [/url] purchase cymbalta no prescription - Low Cost Cymbalta - buy cymbalta without prescription