Thursday, March 8, 2007

Cross-Contamination And You... or: 'Ware The Lunch Lady

Yeah. We have a full-service cafeteria at work that includes a pretty good sandwich bar. There's a humongous internal meeting today and I was strong-arming.... err, persuading managers to post their presentations so I could compile the presentation books.

My co-workers volunteered to bring me a sandwich when they went down to get their lunch. (We have to take turns going to lunch so that the department is covered at all times) I gratefully accepted and continued with the nonsense that is meeting prep.

Now, I am a creature of habit. Foodwise, I am not an adventurous soul and I have a few food allergies besides. So I stick with tried & true and life is happy. They bring me my usual tuna on wheat with lettuce and tomato. Nice boring sammich. Perfect.

I take a bite and notice an odd flavor, like its got mustard or something... I look and find no offending condiments. Huh. However, I got so busy that I finished less than half the sammich and finally just threw it out.

Well, an hour later, I figure out what that odd taste was when my lips started feeling sore. I happen to be allergic to something in the salad dressings they use in the cafeteria. I don't know what the offending ingredient is, but I get what basically looks and feels like a chemical burn on my mouth, and it stays red and sore for a few days until it peels.

I go into the ladies room and... Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. I look like I'm wearing bright red lipliner. buh-RIGHT red. One might even say it glowed...

Apparently, the cafeteria worker hadn't bothered cleaning either her workspace or her knife after making the sandwiched ordered before mine, and said sandwich was one of the ones that contained dressing. (I suspect the Evil Chicken Caesar... that's one scary sammich, trust me.)

I have to report ny sammich troubles to my manager who, while properly sympathetic to my plight, is perfectly capable of recognizing the ridiculous aspect to it all, and she laughs her ass off. (My boss is actually pretty cool.) I have to send an email to the cafeteria manager, letting him know what had happened as well.

And now I get to attend this big-ass meeting today with a McDonald's Red Upper lip that feels like I branded myself.

I had been telling myself that I really ought to start packing my lunch in the mornings because it would be so much cheaper, but I'm a lazy twit.

Dang. There's just something NOT RIGHT about being laid low by a sandwich.


That Chick Over There said...

Okay, I know I say this regularly but:

BAHAHAHAAHAHA! I'm sorry but that is just FUNNY.

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

I'm trying really hard not to laugh because it's just not nice to have a chuckle at the expense of another.

I hope your Ronald McDonald mouth is gone now.

Kathy said...

Man, I'm glad I read that today! Needed a laugh and a reminder not to take myself too seriously! :)

I stopped by with the Blog Party - glad I found you!

Catwoman said...

Think of all the money you're saving on lipstick!

Ouch! Sounds very, very painful.

velocibadgergirl said...

If it's wrong to laugh my ass off at your plight, then I don't want to be right.

Laid low by a sammich, indeed.

I love you, man.

Real Life in South Carolina said...

Ouch. So sorry about the sammich.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Keep a stiff upper lip and pack your own sammich.

Isn't it terrible that we're all having fun at your misfortune?

Naw, I didn't think so either.
I do hope you are feeling better though.

canape said...

That is freaking hilarious. And at the same time, I am so very sorry.

I'm not at the party, but someone else I read is and she sent me over to laugh my ass off.

Having done so, I will mention (based on your profile) that you not only do you need ceramic pie beads, but I wouldn't be without two sets.