Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Home Is Where the Heart Is or: Where the heck did I put the Maalox???

Eeeeeyeah. As stated, we're in the throes of hell... er, MOVING. And this is requiring no small amount of lip-zipping on my part as my family seems bound and determined to test my patience.

My mother called and after I finally located the cordless phone, which had been shoved far down underneath the bedding (???) and then Jacob made an unexpected sideways lunge in my arms and also pinched me with his near hand, so my voice sounded - at best - strained when I answered.

I am not certain what message my mother thought I was sending, but she unleashed The Mother of All Snarkiness on me and before I could even explain that she was entirely mistaken, she snapped "And I am soooooooooo sorry for annoying YOU!" and then hung up on me.

She hung up on me.


Ooh. Ooh that made me so ma... I mean angry. (there's one of her sayings - dogs go mad, people get angry.) Whose mother hangs up on them??? Are we middle schoolers???

I refrained from calling her back to ask if she was smoking cat litter or something, and the Husband came home and asked what had me fired up.

So I started to tell him and he HELD HIS HAND UP IN THAT 'STOP' GESTURE. Hold up, here. Did my husband just tell me to basically 'Talk to the Hand'???????

Oh no he didn't.

Oh nooooooooo he did not.

I can see that the next five days are going to be a test of my sociability, much like a bad-tempered stray dog is tested for food aggression. And the end result might well resemble it, too.

Yeah. I have PMS and I am moving house. With PMS. And I can have neither cheese nor chocolate. Just don't make a move toward my coffee, that's all I can say.

Also? In my Recommended Daily Serving of Schadenfreude, the No Home Training Trio clogged their toilet so badly they had to call Roto Rooter. And having the emotional maturity of a ten-year-old-boy, I was greatly amused, especially as I had to listen to them argue last night. While they were having sex, apparently. And I really didn't need to be exposed to either encounter and am still considering how I can effectively bleach my own brain.

And lo, the husband has redeemed himself in my eyes, having now hauled two full SUV-loads of boxes over to the new house. I am apparently even scarier than I thought.


Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

I wish you all the best.
And chocolate.


Kimberly said...

People blather on about love and respect, yadda yadda yadda.

But Machiavelli had it all figured. Fear is the best motivator.

No cheese or chocolate? That is just wrong!

my4kids said...

Like Alpha Dude I wish you chocolate!

I get that way when we move its the stress and of course pms doesn't help. at. all!

Maybe the hubby should pick up some chocolate on one of those trips to the new house.

And yeah I would want to bleach my brain also... been there done that really don't want to go back.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

You are scaring me. Please take all my chocolates.

Robbin said...

Oh, my mother has done that to me - several times. But, she is sometimes the kind of person who thinks that everything is about her, and can't imagine that my irritation has absolutely nothing to do with her.

Hmm. That might be genetic.

That Chick Over There said...

Good. Lord.

frannie said...

good luck with the move- and the phone calls

Catwoman said...

PMS while moving? I can't even fathom the horribleness of the situation.

And the idea of neighbors arguing while doing it makes me laugh so hard, my tummy hurts.

But I can feel your pain, really, despite my amusement of it.

Also? I think we may have the same mother.

canape said...

She hung up on you after you dug through stuff to find the phone? Mother's Day is way too close to be pulling stuff like that. She won't be having any cheese or chocolate either if she's not careful.

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

How is it going? Are you all moved in?