Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Evil On Two Feet

No really. ON two feet.

I'm talking socks, here. Notably used socks. I wage a daily battle against the cotton hellspawn and i swear they breed like bunnies.

My husband, From Whose Feet Springs Grimness, swears up and down that he doesn't leave those horrid, crumpled piles of used socks on the floor... the stairs... the couch... the bed....

You know how a dog pees on things to mark his territory? I've accused the man of doing much the same thing, only with socks. And its reached a point, where like the apprehensive dog owner, or even the Giant of Jack lore, i enter the house, look around suspiciously and sniff.

''I smell... waugh!! SOCKS!''

i don't know why it is that I can face down a reeking diaper full of intestinal nuclear-grade waste, with a side of baby vomit down my shirt and never even blink. But socks? Something about their wrinkled crumpled sweaty piles of evilness just gives me the creeps.

And lets not discuss the teenager's socks. I haven't quite recovered from last week's stomach-turning episode. (I am buying new shoes for that kid and i think the old ones have to be declared a HazMat.)

Is there a solution? I have no less than 4 hampers in the house and I DO find socks in them... maybe the others are acually escapees. Is there an evil Sock Fairy, who scatters her foul footwear to mark those who offend her?

I don't know. All I can say is...


This situation stinks.

8 comments:

J said...

You crack me up. I don't really like socks either, but only because I don't like wearing them. And? My hubby's socks from work are nasty, so I feel your pain. Imagine some socks that had been out in the field with sweaty nasty men for 2 weeks. yeah. ugh.

Betsey Booms said...

In my house it's shoes and underwear. Seriously, underwear.

Why????

And my husband and I have had a few conversations about THE THE... We just had one last night.

Did they do "This Is The Day"? I was wracking my brain last night but never got the answer.

Gerbil said...

I don't know about day but they did This is the Night. its on Dusk. its almost strangely sgt pepperish... on the piano, anyway.

Suzie said...

Thats so crazy I have that too. Socks everywhere I look. The dog eats them and I've found the baby chewing on them. I hate them. Just how many socks does my husband own? I think its a plot to drive us all crazy.

Heather J. said...

OMG, I have this problem....with 3 teenagers in the house my infestation is monumental!
I'm thinking the teenagers...have to go!

A Single Mom's Life said...

LOL...Well if they mark their territory with socks, does that mean that the washer and dryer are theirs too..because that is where I find all of mine...in the hoses and crevices.

Guinevere Meadow said...

LOL!! You literally made me laugh out loud. That's hard to do! :)

Smelly socks. Ick.

my4kids said...

I hate socks also! With 1 hubby and 2 near teens in the house it is a scary sight/sound sometimes to walk into since they leave them hanging wherever they take them off which is never the hamper here either.