Thursday, February 22, 2007

Do you need representation?????

My teenaged son had to go to court today. He'd been robbed at gunpoint, back in October. Luckily, he'd actually kept his quick mouth shut, complied with the robbers and was not hurt, even if his teenaged pride took a beating. Long story short, they caught the guys and my son had to testify at the preliminary hearing.

We THOUGHT this would have been done back in January but after we'd sat through the ENTIRE docket (and quite an education we received! People say the DUMBEST stuff when arguing traffic tickets. Point in case, the woman who failed to yield and cut off a state trooper and nearly caused an accident. "Well, if I'da KNOWN he was a cop, I'da stopped! DUH!!" As you can imagine, the judge was not appreciative of being told "DUH.") and worked our way up to the felonies and were watching the Amazingly Stupid and Argumentative Meth-Heads have a domestic squabble right there in River City and in front of the judge. Their court-appointed defense lawyer was hardly one to inspire confidence, unless maybe you were a really stupid meth-head. When it was time for them to be herded from the courtroom, the lawyer stopped next to us and says to my son, sternly: "You look worried. Do you NEED representation?!?"
My son's jaw dropped and I told the man (equally sternly) "We're fine."
"We.... are FINE."
My son thought for a moment and remarked "Guess you're right about me needing a haircut. Apparently I DO look like a criminal."

And then about 5 minutes later it suddenly occurred to everyone that we were in the wrong court.

I don't mean the wrong room, I mean the wrong COURT. My son is not 18 yet, therefore the preliminary hearing had to be done in juvenile court, even though the gunman is 18. So we blew the whole day and it had to be rescheduled and we blew nearly a whole day this time. But the judge found probable cause and its being bound over to the grand jury for a felony indictment. Wheels of justice turn really really slowly. This probably won't got to trial before June.

Even better, I'd spent the entire evening in the urgent care, getting same teenaged son's hand sewn shut. He was clowning around with his buddies in a friend's unfinished basement when he tripped over his size-13 feet and fell. He threw his hands out to catch himself, and hit the corner of an electrical switch plate. The gouge was triangular, long and deep as hell. They at least had the wit to call and tell me so I could rush him to get stitches... but were also boneheaded enough to hold the flap of meat OPEN so they could get some digital pictures of it - torn muscle, gushing blood and all.

Wish I could say this sort of thinking was unusual but this IS the same kid who played tackle football in a parking lot, and later dug a small rock out of his knee with a BUTTER KNIFE.

And also ate earthworms on a boy scout camping trip because someone dared him too.

And sat on a cooking knife at Jamboree and had to be carried to the medical tent to get his ass bandaged.

You get the picture.


Real Life in South Carolina said...

Your son REALLY did all that? Is this what I have to look forward to? My stomach is starting to feel squeamish!

That Chick Over There said...

For some reason, I'm imagining myself in a few years...

Gerbil said...

Oh he's done not only THAT stuff, but I could write a book on the mind-boggling things my son has done. There's a lot of girls in my family & he was the first boy. We were baffled constantly "is this a BOY thing?? Who DOES this???" God love 'im, it's never boring around here.

Catwoman said...

This is exactly why I was terrified when I was pregnant and the nurse at our sonogram said "It's a Boy!"

I can only hope that he'll be a sissy. Because I have a very weak stomach for this kind of stuff...