Monday, July 7, 2008

It's all about the numbers

1 diagnosis.
3 weeks of emotion from all sides.
8 doctor's appointments.
1 round of chemo lasting 40 days.
3 choices of how to receive the chemo drugs.
0 prescription drug coverage.
4570 in cash for the chemo pills
5 trips to the hospital weekly to recieve chemo injections
1 decision to use the implantable continuous infusion pump
1 procedure to insert the pump
15 days of external radiation following chemo
1 surgery to resect the bowel, with a stoma and temporary ostomy
30 days of adjuvant chemo
1 surgery to reattach everything
7 days of meals to prepare
1 entire house to be scrubbed down
10 skeins of yarn to finish the ''chemo blanket'' my daughter asked me to help knit
25 years since I last held knitting needles.
8 gazillion deep breaths.
1 pair of 'big girl panties' that I keep yanking up so I can keep my 'game face' on.
6 million tears my mother is trying very hard not to let anyone see

all comes down to 64.

64 percent.

Our chances of a 5 year survival.

Sure, better odds than Vegas. Still a little overwhelming.


Suzie said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I nursed my aunt through it all I remember how horrible it was make sure you take some time out for you otherwise you will go nuts. Just small things will help but if you burn out too soon you will be no help to anyone. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Catwoman said...

Odds are always hard to hear.

Just remember, when Lance Armstrong's cancer spread to his brain, he as given weeks to live.

And look at him now, how many years later. Odds are there to be beaten, if you ask me.

I'm keeping all of you in my hearts and prayers during this really difficult time.

giants fan said...

i am so sorry. this is so horrible to live with and deal with and just to have to be present for. It's more than we should have to bear in a lifetime. I am so sorry and have been so worried about you and your mom.

I hope that she not only beats the odds, but shatters them.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I'm so sorry. The Husband's father has pancreatic cancer. Cancer is the only six letter word that I know that I REALLY abhor.

canape said...

"4570 in cash for the chemo pills"

Holy crap. Insult to injury, isn't it?

My mom has been beating odds for 23 years now. Sometimes it happens.

I'll pray that it does for your mom too.

velocibadgergirl said...

Just wanted to let you know (again) that you and your family are in my thoughts, always. <3

midlife mommy said...

I know how hard it is to have a mom with a terrible disease (mine had non-alcoholic cirrhosis) without any real options for transplant because of her age and other health conditions. No advice, other than to spend as much time as possible with her, because none of us has any kind of a lifetime guarantee, regardless of our health issues.

Hugs and prayers to you.

Shan said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

my4kids said...

So sorry you and your family are dealing with all this. I know from experience how hard and frustrating it all is. I will keep you in my thoughts though, and I mean that.

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

Oh, my. You're all in my thoughts. And if there's anything at all I can do from thousands of miles away, please please please let me know.


Poetikat said...

Sending my prayers and thoughts over to your mom and you.